现实

indy

The reality about covid is this: if somebody you love becomes critically ill, you may not be able to see them. Truthfully, you won’t be able to see them. Not for hours, not for days, maybe not for whatever is left of their life. Because not only is this virus cruel, it’s leaving people to die alone. Most hospitals aren’t allowing any visitors. People are fighting for their lives surrounded by beeping machines and a bunch strangers in scrubs. This means if someone you love ends up in intensive care, don’t expect to visit. If they end up sick, on a ventilator, don’t even expect to call and check on them. You’ll have to sit at home and worry if they are in pain, if they are struggling, if they are scared, or if they are even alive.

I’ve been a respiratory therapist for almost ten years. The first seven were spent at a large level 1 trauma center before coming to peds/neo. I’ve seen more people die in front of me then I care to recollect. This is the main difference between adults and children. Adults die fast and they die often. It was normal to come to work and have a patient pass away during my shift. Some days it was multiple patients. Some young and some old. Some suddenly and some gradually. Some with family by their side, but some alone. Honestly, I’ve watched A LOT of people die alone. I’ve worked with some of the best RT’s, RN’s, and MD’s around, but it’s difficult to save everyone. We’d spend hours and hours keeping a patient alive until their family could arrive in the ICU or trauma bay to hold their hand and kiss them as they passed away. We medically kept hearts beating for as long as we could. It’s literally a race against time. Sometimes we lost, sometimes we won, but we didn’t really win. We just tried hard not to let anyone die alone, but covid is different. It isn’t as forgiving and it’s a lot more time sensitive. It’s out-numbering us, by the thousands. And it won’t leave you alone, but it will leave you to die alone.

This is the cruel reality about this virus. The part that the media leaves out. People are dying alone. In large amounts. Some hospitals are busy, so busy that they don’t have time to call you and tell you that your mom or dad is crashing. You won’t know if your brother or sister is currently in cardiac arrest and resuscitation attempts are being made. Why? Because bringing them back to life is more important at this point and time is limited. You may not get to hold their hand or say goodbye. You may not get that last, I love you. Honestly, you may not get that for days leading up to their death. Not hours, but DAYS. The no visitor rule is not to be selfish, it’s to prevent transmission within hospitals more than it already has. It’s to protect you and it’s to protect us. It’s so that you don’t have to walk into a battlefield and see what healthcare workers have to see every day, not just during a pandemic.

It’s so you don’t have to see what we see-
The face of someone as they lay their lifeless while their body jumps up and down on the stretcher from chest compressions and defibrillations. Blood everywhere. Paper wrappers from medical supplies and emergency medicine boxes covering the floor. Hearing the words/phrases; we need an airway, pulse check, time for epi, prepare to crack the chest, activate MTP, everybody clear, resume compressions, one-fifty of amio going in, somebody call the family, and the numerous curse words I cannot write because we’re all pissed that what we’re doing isn’t working. Trust me, you do not want to see or hear that. You do not want your family to go through that alone, but if they do, just know we are there. Holding their hands and telling them it’s okay even though we know it’s not. Telling them to keep fighting even though we know they can’t. Listening to the chaplain pray over them after the time of death is pronounced while we pull a sheet over their body as the monitor gives a prolonged beep to let us know god called them home. We are there, but you won’t be, and that’s who they need the most.

Think about that before you go and hang out with your friends. Before you head to target because you’re bored and you “need to get out of the house”. Before you book that cheap flight because it's only $35 and before you pretend your invincible. Before you say, “we don’t need a national lockdown” or “this is just the flu.” Think about somebody you love suffering and having to die alone because you didn’t stay home. Just as you can pass this to someone else’s mom or dad, someone else can pass it to yours. This virus is not kind. Bodies are being placed in the back of semi-trucks because hospital morgues are full. Bodies of people our age, not just old people. We are dying fast and we’re dying alone and we are out here wearing the same mask for days.

We cannot prevent everything, but the more we try, the less people will have to die alone.

#doyourpart #dontletthemdiealone #frontline #8pmwillneverbethesame #moremask #helpushelpyou

indy