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标题: AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER [打印本页]

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-8 00:14
标题: AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER
本帖最后由天柏于 2014-7-8 00:17 编辑

Ann Coulter's stupid article. An eye opener on how narrow-minded the conservatives can be.

AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER

June 25, 2014

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.

Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.

(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.

(5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!

(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.

I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?

(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."

The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)

Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.

Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

作者: 李根 时间: 2014-7-8 00:26
随着美国人口构成变化，soccer hating这一运动必然越来越走下坡路。

今后几十年的节奏就是一群老头老太恨恨地看着窗外的年轻人们高兴地踢足球，每逢大赛，其恨更切。

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-8 00:43

李根发表于 2014-7-8 00:26
随着美国人口构成变化，soccer hating这一运动必然越来越走下坡路。

今后几十年的节奏就是一群老头老太恨 ...

贝克汉姆参股的迈阿密MLS的新体育馆计划正在遭遇当地居民的抵抗，有可能搁浅。他已经在迈阿密买了豪宅，准备长住。离Ann Coulter的Palm Beach房子不远。

作者: 李根 时间: 2014-7-8 02:29

天柏发表于 2014-7-7 11:43
贝克汉姆参股的迈阿密MLS的新体育馆计划正在遭遇当地居民的抵抗，有可能搁浅。他已经在迈阿密买了豪宅， ...

迈阿密是不是退休养老的白人老爷爷老太太特多，认为soccer是堕落的象征

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-8 03:01
本帖最后由天柏于 2014-7-8 03:23 编辑

李根发表于 2014-7-8 02:29
迈阿密是不是退休养老的白人老爷爷老太太特多，认为soccer是堕落的象征

...

Miami才出了5亿建起一个棒球馆，一直亏。想让贝壳在棒球馆旁边建来扭亏而且要求4万座来吸引迈阿密大学橄榔球队回归，贝壳只想建2万座，还看上了海边的地，不想当冤大头。

作者: 李根 时间: 2014-7-8 03:15

天柏发表于 2014-7-7 14:01
Miami才出了5亿建起一个棒球馆，不想再出2亿5在旁边建个足球馆。足球还是没有棒球有地位。 ...

时间问题。美国新增人口很多都是中南美洲移民或者他们的后代，一切都会改变的

for better or worse

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-8 03:22
本帖最后由天柏于 2014-7-8 03:24 编辑

李根发表于 2014-7-8 03:15
时间问题。美国新增人口很多都是中南美洲移民或者他们的后代，一切都会改变的

for better or worse

前面的回复有误，已修改，贝壳自己出钱建馆还付地皮的租金。是地方政治问题，迈阿密是美国最黑的城市之一。
"Our package was the most equitable soccer stadium proposal that Miami, or any other city in America, has ever seen - 100 percent privately funded without any local taxpayers money," the statement said.

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-19 02:11
今天和同事就此文章交流了一下，爱看球的当然嗤之以鼻，有一共和党老白和一白老莫极力赞成足球是“非美国”的论调。共和党员们脑残比例也不比民主党低。

作者: mezhan 时间: 2014-7-19 10:33
本人现在是只喜欢主要用手偶尔用脚的 FOOTBALL.

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-19 11:15
本帖最后由天柏于 2014-7-19 20:48 编辑

mezhan 发表于 2014-7-19 10:33
本人现在是只喜欢主要用手偶尔用脚的 FOOTBALL.

Then you are a real American, just like Ann! Kidding:)

作者: mezhan 时间: 2014-7-20 00:33

天柏发表于 2014-7-19 11:15
Then you are a real American, just like Ann! Kidding:)

美式足球就像相棋残局(每次攻防就是一残局)-非常强调各守其位各尽其职, 英式的是淡而无味.

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-20 04:43

mezhan 发表于 2014-7-20 00:33
美式足球就像相棋残局(每次攻防就是一残局)-非常强调各守其位各尽其职, 英式的是淡而无味. ...

见仁见智吧，我基本不看自己不玩的项目，没有代入感。

作者: MacArthur 时间: 2014-7-20 11:02
她这样的人，最怕的就是缺乏关注，被公众当个屁给悄无声息地放了。。。

所以一定要定期地出来闹上一闹，发表点儿“高见”，最好能惹得新闻媒体纷纷来报道。。。

至于说得有道理没道理，我觉得她根本不在乎。。。

作者: 天柏 时间: 2014-7-20 19:55

MacArthur 发表于 2014-7-20 11:02
她这样的人，最怕的就是缺乏关注，被公众当个屁给悄无声息地放了。。。

所以一定要定期地出来闹上一闹， ...

不能高估红脖们的独立思考能力，Ann有一大群电视粉丝，出书也有不错的销量。

作者: MacArthur 时间: 2014-7-20 21:20

mezhan 发表于 2014-7-19 11:33
美式足球就像相棋残局(每次攻防就是一残局)-非常强调各守其位各尽其职, 英式的是淡而无味. ...

英式的玩法更接近足球，你要看进去就知道也没那么不堪啦，各有各的趣味

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